Alan’s more Sugar Baddy as Apprentice tightens its belt

I’m not saying Alan Sugar is getting tight in his old age, but hey, how about those treats for the winning teams on The Apprentice lately?

Last night, the victorious (mainly male) team headed off to the Oval where they were greeted by a bat-wielding Kevin Pietersen.

No disrespect to KP, but that’s hardly one for the “something to tell the grandkids” memory box.

In any case, given their shoddy performances so far, some might argue the boys deserved a bit of chin music from Jimmy Anderson instead. Yes, I know they won the latest task – hosting a corporate box at Wembley.

But only because they were slightly less terrible than the losers, something that’s becoming rather a theme of the show this year. That’s bad news for Sugar’s business prospects, but great news for us.

This was easily the most cringey – and therefore most hilarious – episode of The Apprentice I’ve ever seen.

You needed four cushions to watch it. One for your eyes, one for each of your ears and one to bite down on.

And that was before they unveiled their “high-end” nibbles – multipacks of Wotsits tipped into serving bowls. It says something that the decision to save money by having Harrison sing My Way for the paying guests wasn’t even the most embarrassing thing about it. It was less Harrison Ford, more Harrison All We Could Afford.

Next week’s show could be even better. Sugar’s allowing the teams to organise his birthday party.

Man, I hope he likes Wotsits.