NOT SURE I CAN TAKE ON HER KIDS

Dear Coleen

I have been with this girl for a few months now and everything is fine with the relationship.

We get on really well and I do like her, even though it’s not been that long.

There’s just one issue, but it’s a big one – she has kids and I’m not sure if I can take that on.

My friends have all told me not to go there and that I’ll be making a huge mistake if I do.

I just don’t know what’s best – what do you think?

Coleen says

If that’s how you feel, my advice is, don’t go there.

If you’re having doubts about taking on someone else’s children, then you risk ending up not only breaking her heart, but leaving the kids devastated too. It’s OK to feel what you’re feeling, but you have to be honest with her about it.

Tell her you really like her, but you’re not sure you’re ready to take on a family. Don’t feel bad about that – some people can do it and others can’t. But don’t go further down the line and get into a committed relationship if you’re having doubts.

It is hard work and takes a special kind of person to take on someone else’s family and make it work, but it also takes courage to admit you don’t want to do it.