Secrets of the over-50 daters

Reports suggest record numbers of baby boomers are single and dating again – but 43% of over-50s seeking love worry a date will be boring, a third say they hate bad manners and a tenth panic about their own looks. We asked some midlife singletons what it’

A few weeks later he came to my house. I knew what was going to happen and I was terrified They send pictures – lots of them – of their bits. At one time I had quite a collection

I’ve no plans to settle down, I just want fun with fit, younger men

During the past nine years of singledom I’ve been sent numerous ‘interesting’ photos and kissed several frogs. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. At 57 I’m having the time of my life – and the best sex ever with young, gorgeous men!

I was so scared about getting back onto the dating scene. I felt frumpy, lacked confidence and didn’t think anyone would be interested in a woman fast approaching 50.

I was bruised too. I’d been married twice and both relationships ended badly. All my friends my own age were in relationships so I ended up going out with my daughters and their friends. I started wearing more fashionable clothes, lost some weight and began working out.

Then one night I was in the pub saying to some girlfriends I needed a toy boy, when the attractive 20-something barman said, “Look no further!”

We started talking and a few weeks later he came to my house. I knew what was going to happen and I was terrified. I worried about my lumps and bumps, if I should take off my underwear or leave it on… I needn’t have concerned myself.

He was gentle, patient, polite and made me feel wonderful. I was back!

I didn’t have a clue about online profiles or dating sites but a young colleague set me up with one. A few weeks later I checked in and found loads of messages. It was so exciting.

There have been some disasters. One guy could barely string two words together, another admitted – just before I picked him up – his profile picture was “a bit out of date”. Too right! He wasn’t slim and blond, he was bald and five stone heavier. He proceeded to neck eight pints on our date.

These days I don’t really date chaps my age as they want to be serious. I want to have fun. So I signed up to Toyboy Warehouse and have met some fabulous blokes who are only half my age.

Inevitably you lose them to a younger woman because, as much as they appreciate a sophisticated older lady, they want a family of their own. I’ve had my fingers burned, let someone get under my skin, but mostly it’s just fun while it lasts.

I blog about my dating experiences and women often contact me. It’s amazing how many of us are regularly sent pictures of men’s nether regions! And then there are the ‘budgie texts’ as I call them: men who cancel at the last minute using an appalling excuse like “I have to take my budgie to the vet”.

My advice is to always phone someone you’re going to meet – it’s harder to lie when speaking to someone rather than via text/email. And make sure someone texts or phones you during the date so you can get out of it if you need to. Other than that, enjoy it!

I had a gorgeous husband I’m not trying to replace, I just want to chat

People assume that after you lose a loved one you need time to be alone, to lick your wounds. That wasn’t the case for me. When a man I met through work asked me out a month after my husband Keith died, I jumped at the chance.

I didn’t tell anyone. I thought it might be controversial but I felt so bereft.

Things inevitably fizzled out – I’d rushed into it – and I didn’t start dating again for another year or so. At first I accepted anyone and everything. I just wanted to be with someone. It’s only as time’s gone on I’ve got choosier.

It’s all changed since the days of meeting someone in a disco or a pub. I’ve dated people I’ve met through someone I know and through everyday life (my tiler for example!) but usually it’s through Tinder or the like.

It’s a bit of a minefield. I had one bloke who it transpired was using his mate’s profile to message me so he was nothing like the person I thought he was. One who called himself Giovanni – an engineer with a PhD – messaged me for a few weeks until I started to really like him. Then he asked for money. I reported him to the police who said he was probably a Nigerian scammer who women have given upwards of £50,000 to in the past. You have to be so careful. I do a bit of modelling and one man I dated, a designer, asked if I’d like to see his showroom. It quickly became apparent it was his flat. He showed me Kate Moss wearing his designs and then snaked his arms around me making it clear I could model for him if I slept with him. Needless to say I didn’t. Another took me to lunch and told me he had another date that evening and then showed me pictures of all the other women he was currently seeing! I have nothing against speaking to more than one person at a time until something gets serious but I don’t want to see my