AFRAID WORK FLIRT WILL SAY NO

Dear Coleen

There’s a man at work I’ve really fallen for in a big way – he’s such a great, fun person and is gorgeous, too. He flirts with me all the time – I know I’m not imagining it, as my friends say so too – but he doesn’t appear to want to take things to the next stage.

I know he’s had a couple of failed relationships over the past year or so, and one of those women was a colleague, so perhaps that’s the reason.

I just can’t bring myself to ask him on a date because I’m worried he’ll say no and that’ll be the end of it. Any suggestions? I feel way too old to be worrying about this stuff – it’s like I’m a teenager again!

Coleen says

The dating game can be a minefield whatever age you are, and we all have that fear of rejection. But you mustn’t let it stop you from acting on opportunities.

I always think it’s better to go for something than torture yourself about what might have been.

If he did turn you down then, yes, it would be disappointing, but those feelings wouldn’t last and at least you’d know where you stand and can move on.

But he is flirting with you, so it seems he does like you – that ought to give you some confidence.

Also, you don’t have to ask him on a date.

Organise a night out with some other friends or colleagues and invite him along – then see if he flirts with you outside the office and if things move up a gear.

To the woman (Dear Coleen, Nov 15) whose husband treats her like his mother (i.e. expecting her to do everything for him) – start treating him like the big kid he is until he shows you some respect.

Like a child, he needs to understand there are consequences of his actions. If I were you, I wouldn’t be at home when he gets back – I’d be somewhere else, doing something for myself. Chrissie, via email