MY AUTISTIC DAUGHTER IS LEFT IGNORED

Dear Coleen

I’m a 28-year-old married woman with a disabled daughter. I feel guilty because she’s autistic and when she has meltdowns people often stare and say nasty things about her.

To add to my woes, my motherin-law treats my eldest daughter like her own, yet my autistic daughter doesn’t get a look in.

Coleen says

You have a lot on your plate and I’m sure that kind of reaction from people can make it feel like the whole world is against you.

However, I think you have to try to keep in mind that most people are good, even though it’s the occasional nasty remarks that stick in your mind and are hard to bear.

You are a great mum, trying to do your best for your children in challenging circumstances, but you should be able to rely on support from your family.

You don’t mention your husband, but he should step up and speak to his mum if it’s getting to the point where you feel your child is being left out and it’s upsetting you. So speak to him and ask for his help.

And don’t be afraid of bringing it up with your mother-in-law.

Your daughter isn’t going to grow out of this condition, so it’s important that people close to you understand the challenges and get on board.

The National Autistic Society has good information for family members, including grandparents, on its website.

Visit autism.org.uk or call 0808 800 4104.