COOL BOBBER’S JUST THE JOB
A man walks into a fish shop. “Here,” he says to the fishmonger, “you know that sign you have outside saying ‘Fresh Fish Sold Here’?
“Well, there’s no point saying fresh, since you’d hardly sell stale fish. And there’s no point saying fish, since you’re a fishmonger. And no point saying sold, since you’d hardly give them away free. And no point saying here, since you’d hardly sell them somewhere else.”
The fishmonger sighs, beats him to death with a frozen haddock and takes down the sign anyway.
Which brings me, naturally, to the Scout Bobber, for it’s had everything superfluous removed as well.
Bobbing, as you’ll know, was started in the 1950s by soldiers who came home from the war, bought army surplus bikes and bobbed or stripped them down to the basics for a cool minimalist look. On the Scout, that meant sawing the mudguards in half, lowering the rear suspension, dumping the pillion seat and painting the engine, frame, wheels and exhaust black.
The clutch is light, the gearbox as delicate yet firm as my wife when she wants me to do something.
And that engine is a peach, with a glorious combination of V-twin character and smooth power all the way to the max at a thrumming 8,000rpm.
Not to mention such muscular torque from basement revs that it laughed off uphill hairpins in second gear.
For such a stripped down bike, it’s a surprisingly hefty 255kgs, but with a low seat and centre of gravity, low speed handling is a doddle.
Out on the road, with a fairly wide front tyre and knobbly rubber (a strange choice for a purely road bike), the steering feels a little light at first – but before long, you’re shifting your weight and soaring through bends with peg-scraping aplomb.
Only one front disc may not sound much for hauling in that weight, but the rear brake has beautiful bite and feel, perfect for spirited trailing into downhill corners.
The travel on that lowered rear suspension is about as short as Naomi Campbell’s temper, so if I was you I wouldn’t try riding over speed bumps at 90mph or you’ll end up the same height as Danny DeVito.
And since there’s no point having a cool bike without the gear to match, accessories include a pillion seat with what Indian calls a butt stop.
I’ve sent one to Kim Kardashian. Here’s hoping it works.