Gunner admit it: I liked his footie film
HAVE my eyelids stapled open so I can never sleep again. Surrender to a long conversation with someone who says: “Do you know what I mean?” repeatedly while talking about incredibly simple concepts. Be Melania Trump.
Just a few of the things on the
long, long, long list of stuff I’d rather do than watch the new Arsenal film, 89, about how they won the league title in dramatic fashion that season. And yet, this week I watched it.
The moral of the story is not to agree to terms of actual physical torture even if you are superconfident you’re going to win the bet, but that’s another story.
My husband pretended that the reason he wanted me to watch 89 wasn’t because he blatantly fully hates me now, but because he thought I’d enjoy it. Hilarious.
To summarise: it’s not that I’m not interested in Arsenal. I actively despise them.
They make my husband boring, they take him away when I want him to do stuff for with me, and when I get him back, he’s always miserable. So I have a proper beef with Arsenal, plus, football generally is unarguably completely tedious.
All in all, I’m probably not entirely 89’s target audience.
But then something strange happened. The film wasn’t like football – there was a point to it. It had, get this, a plot.
It’s been 18 years since this team has won this prize. A maverick new boss comes in, fires all the smug old star players and takes a chance on a group of plucky young upstarts with big dreams.
The rival team are unbeatable meanies, and in the run-up to the final showdown, they go from triumph to triumph. The upstarts flounder, losing games they expected to win, disappointing the new manager at every turn. Everything falls apart.
To scoop the top prize, this rag-tag gang of underdogs have to win by two goals. The odds are completely stacked against them. COULD THIS SOUND ANY MORE
Film was not like football... it had a point to it
LIKE A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE? And you know that extra buzz you get when you find out that a film that moved you was based on real events? Guess what? All this actually happened. And to Arsenal.
Even more Hollywoody, they won in the final minute of the game, just when all hope seemed lost... with a goal which brought grown men to tears both at the time and when they talk about it in a film 28 years later.
Football writer Amy Lawrence summed it up on screen by saying: “It sounds melodramatic, but that night taught me something. It taught me that things are achievable even when people tell you that they’re unimaginable and idiotic. You can do things that are never supposed to happen.” Gulp!
So, OK, I admit it – I did quite enjoy 89. But more than that, it made me understand my husband a bit better – why he spends time, money and effort trailing off to have his hopes viciously dashed on all those Saturday afternoons.
I still think he’s stupid, obviously, but at least I no longer believe he’s insane.
I do reckon he should have quit while he was ahead though, and retired from supporting Arsenal on May 27, 1989.
EARTH-SHATTERING CELEBRITY BOMBSHELL OF THE WEEK “Everyone in my family is SO different!” Khloe Kardashian