GIFTS NOT UP TO SCRATCH

Millions wasted by Brits

The people of Britain will spend an estimated £243.77* each on presents this year, which equates to over £12bn for the UK’s 52 million adults. That’s in total, though. You’re not going to spend that each. That would be mad and unlikely, and all the pound shop owners would be able to retire overnight and buy solid gold yachts and pints of beer in London.

But £12bn is still quite a lot of money to spend on gifts that might not be appreciated by their recipients. We at the Department Of Unwanted Gifts dispose of the many underwhelming presents given at this time of year – but we’re under more pressure than ever with our ‘Man From TV Sings The Classics CD’ silos full to bursting.

WASTE OF MONEY

It’s not for us to say that much of that £12bn is a waste of money – but our lives would be so much easier if that cash was spent on something other than bits of plastic and polyester that nobody wants.

That money would be better spent on things that people would actually like – for example, 24bn bars of chocolate or 1,230 Premier League footballers (the average transfer fee for a top drawer player is £10.3 million).

Or you could buy Christmas Countdown Scratchcards from The National Lottery, available from participating retailers nationwide, for just £2 each.

Imagine the delight on your loved one’s face if they won £100,000, or a smaller cash prize. Unless they used the money to buy all their friends novelty socks.

Then the Department Of Unwanted Gifts really would be in trouble.