SHE DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT CARD DEBTS

Dear Coleen

My girlfriend doesn’t know how much debt I’m in and it’s causing me sleepless nights. I’ve spent thousands of pounds using credit cards and I don’t know how I’m going to pay it all back.

It started after we moved in together and I borrowed money for the move and to get things done to the house, but it snowballed and now I feel overwhelmed.

I’ve also run up bills for Christmas, buying gifts and so on.

I know my girlfriend would love to get married, but how can I propose to her with this hanging over my head? What can I do?

Coleen says The first thing you need to do is tell her. I know you’re worried about how she’ll react, but it’ll be a huge relief and, once it’s out in the open, you can start to make a plan about where you go from here.

If you want to get married to your girlfriend you can’t keep secrets like this. Trust me, she’d be more angry and hurt if it came out a year from now or after you were married.

The longer you leave it, the harder it’s going to be to tell her.

Also, get some expert advice about how to manage your debt – you could do this before you speak to your girlfriend to show you’re taking steps to sort things out.

Start by getting in touch with a debt charity such as StepChange (stepchange.org; call: 0800 138 1111), which can provide financial advice, as well as devise a debt management plan to help pay off debt at a more manageable rate.

As for your credit cards, cut them up! And, from now on, tell yourself if you don’t have the money to pay for something, you can’t have it.

Don’t enter into marriage lying to your partner. If she truly loves you and wants a future with you, she’ll support you.