ASHAMED OF LYING TO MY STRICT MUM

Dear Coleen

My parents are extremely strict and I’m not really allowed much freedom when it comes to boys.

They do know I have a male best friend, but the thing is, I stay at his house a lot and they don’t know that, which makes me feel terrible because my mum trusts me so much.

I’m worried that if she finds out (and she will because the truth always comes out) she’ll lose all her trust in me.

I’m not sure what to do after lying about this for quite some time. What do you suggest?

Coleen says

You’re absolutely right, the truth always comes out in the end.

You don’t say how old you are, so I can’t really judge whether your parents are being a bit unreasonable and overprotective when it comes to having boyfriends or if you’re too young.

What is clear is that you’re doing something behind their backs and you feel guilty. You obviously have a good relationship with your mum, so you have to weigh up if it’s worth ruining that trust she has in you for the odd night at this boy’s house.

Wouldn’t it be better to sit down with her, explain how you’re feeling and try to find a compromise? That would show her you’re capable of approaching things in a grown-up way and can be taken seriously.

But if she thinks you’re too young, then you have to respect that. Maybe they are a bit strict compared to some other parents, but I’m sure it’s out of love.

I don’t think it’s worth risking that trust you’ve built up with your parents because, if it goes, they’ll end up being a lot stricter.