AM I GOING BEHIND MY EX’S BACK?

Dear Coleen

I was in a serious relationship for two and half years that ended in July. I was the one who finished things and he was devastated. Some people who know him well say he’s still getting over it.

I have felt guilty recently because I’ve started getting close to his stepbrother. I’ve known him for a long time, but only ever thought of him as a friend until we kissed on New Year’s Eve and we were texting and flirting for a couple weeks before that.

Neither of us mentions my ex, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea – would it be wrong to get involved with his stepbrother?

Coleen says

Neither of you is talking about your ex because you know what you’re doing will hurt him and, no doubt, cause a rift. So, if you’re going to take this relationship further, then you really have to talk about it.

Is your relationship worth adding to his heartache and potentially causing problems in the family? Is it just about sex and, if so, why choose someone so close to home? If you are serious about each other, then when do you tell him and how?

You have to weigh it all up and decide on the best plan. But don’t carry it on behind his back because when he finds out you’ve been lying to him for months, he’s not going to take it well. It’s just going to add to his sense of betrayal.

I don’t know what kind of relationship your ex has with his stepbrother, but if your fling turns out to be serious then he should do the decent thing and talk to him. And you’ll have to expect some fallout if your ex is still as hurt as you say he is.