MATE IS DATING MY EX FIANCEE

Dear Coleen

I have a friend who I’ve known since school and, growing up, we were almost like brothers. We’re both in our early-30s now and things were fine up until a couple of months ago when he started dating my ex-girlfriend.

She’s not just any ex – we were together for three years and were also engaged. She broke it off and it took me a long time to get over it. This was two years ago.

I know my mate feels awkward and guilty, but I just don’t see how our friendship can work under the circumstances. Any advice would be welcome.

Coleen says

Yep, it’s awkward, I won’t deny it, but I also don’t think it’s worth losing an important friendship over. You were heartbroken, but you did get over it and you will meet someone lovely who’s right for you.

Maybe your friend and your ex just clicked, and I’m sure they do feel strange about it, too. I had the same situation with one of my sisters, who ended up dating an ex-boyfriend of mine. I found it difficult, but I decided I wouldn’t lose my sister over a relationship that probably wouldn’t last anyway. It didn’t and I’m glad I was able to see the bigger picture.

Look, you don’t have to see both of them together – you and your friend can carry on going out on your own.

Explain to him that right now you don’t want to see them as a couple because it feels weird.

I’m sure he’ll be sensitive to how you feel.