She’s lost it

Normally around now we get to hear about Gwyneth Paltrow’s New Year Detox Diet, a variation of culinary delights which makes you lose weight because they all taste like a dishcloth that’s been left in a dirty sink, and are thus inedible. This January she’s chosen a different way to help us lose unwanted pounds by announcing her engagement to Glee creator Brad Falchuk with this message: “We feel incredibly lucky to have come together at this juncture in our lives when our collective successes and failures can serve as building blocks for a healthy and happy relationship.” Thus ensuring everyone who reads it undergoes immediate weight loss by having a conscious uncoupling with the meal they’ve just digested.