HUBBY REJECTS ME AFTER BABY

Dear Coleen

I had a c-section a year ago. My husband didn’t have to go through watching our daughter being born, yet he’s been rejecting me sexually for an entire year.

I finally asked him the question ‘Do you still love me?’ and he said that he does, but he doesn’t know how to explain what he feels. So now I’m left wondering what on earth I can do to solve this situation. Any advice?

Coleen says

Yes, seeing the birth of a child can affect how a partner feels about sex afterwards – I’ve had plenty of letters on that subject.

However, just a baby coming into your lives, regardless of whether your partner has seen the delivery, can have a huge impact on a relationship too.

All of a sudden you’re parents, so you start seeing your partner in that role and perhaps less as a sexual being. Then you have to factor in sleepless nights, exhaustion and parenting 24/7. He might also feel a little jealous deep down of the bond you have with your daughter and that he (and your relationship) has slipped down the pecking order a bit. Maybe he feels these things, but also feels silly admitting them.

However, I don’t think it’s good enough to just say he can’t explain – you need to talk it over and be honest, even if what’s said has the potential to hurt the other person. He needs to at least try to explain if you’re to get your relationship back on track and moving forward again.

A year is a long time and you have to tell him that you’re not ready to give up on sex and you’re not prepared to live the rest of your life feeling rejected.