25YRS ON, JAMES BULGER’S MUM’S FEAR
I fear my son Michael could unwittingly talk to Venables or Thompson in a bar... not knowing they killed James
IT’S been 25 years since James Bulger was snatched from Liverpool’s New Strand Shopping Centre and murdered, just one month before his third birthday.
His mum Denise Fergus was eight months pregnant with her son Michael, now 24, during the killers’ trial in 1993. She went on to have Thomas, 19, and Leon, 18, with her second husband, electrician Stuart Fergus, 42, after divorcing her first husband Ralph Bulger in 1995.
Here, in a heartbreaking second extract from her new book, I Let Him Go, Denise, 50, says she spent years fearing her boys would be snatched.
James’s child killers Jon Venables and Robert Thompson were granted anonymity after being freed in 2001.
And Denise admits that her new nightmare is that her boys may accidentally be in the same room as them, never knowing they are the monsters who killed their brother...
To this day, I don’t sleep until everyone is home. And I expect texts to let me know when they are on their way.
Even now Michael is in his 20s, if he texts to say he’s on his way home, I time him. If he’s even a few minutes late, I go into a blind panic.
I truly don’t think the fear I felt when I realised James wasn’t by my side will ever fully leave me.
And it only intensified its grip when his killers were freed in 2001.
They weren’t meant to enter Merseyside, but we know one of them came to the city to watch an Everton game. We also know that Jon Venables has been out drinking in Liverpool, which is terrifying.
In March 2010, nine years after his release, Venables was recalled to jail for downloading and distributing indecent images of children.
He was given a two-year jail sentence, but was eligible for parole within a year. By then, our lads were on the cusp of wanting to start venturing out, and I was terrified. I thought, what if he goes to a nightclub and starts talking to Michael?
That means that Michael would unwittingly be talking to the lad who murdered his brother.
FROZEN
My fear for all my sons has been there since they were tiny. I was really overprotective of Michael.
On the rare occasion we did go to a public place, I took no chances. He was on harnesses, a wrist strap, and he had to hold my hand.
It is the small milestones or memories that still have the ability to floor me, but one that hit me
Now is the time to talk about appropriate sentencing for young criminals
particularly hard was watching Michael turn three.
James should have been helping him open his presents. All we had was his portrait smiling down from above the fireplace, frozen in time.
Michael’s first day at school was another terrifying milestone. I had to keep telling myself, “It’s Michael and not James, it will be fine”.
My overprotectiveness remained just as intense when I had the other boys. At night, I used to keep both babies downstairs with me until I was ready for bed.
My anxiety got worse if there was something legal happening with Thompson and Venables. It would
bring the feelings of powerlessness flooding back.
There have been many battles around whether they received a fair hearing, and their sentence – something I vowed never to let go.
I promised James I would keep his killers locked up. So Friday, June 24, 2001, turned out to be one of the worst days of my life.
Little over eight years after murdering James, Thompson and Venables were released. I hadn’t felt anger like that for a long time. They were free and I was terrified. I became fixated that, despite the hollow assurances from the government, they could be living down the road. Did they know where I lived? Did they know what my kids looked like and where they went to school? Were they visiting James’s grave? Supermarket shopping was a living hell. If I took the kids, then Stuart had to come with me. Our house was like a fortress, with high fences and locked gates.
But in a positive way, too, James is part of the family – especially when it comes to special occasions.
JUSTICE
There is a Christmas tree planted next to his grave, and each year we go to the cemetery to decorate it.
We put lights and baubles on it, and hang his stocking on there.
We had the marble on his grave redone for his 18th birthday. It’s not exactly the gift you imagine giving your child on a special birthday.
Time, and my husband and children, have given me a sense of peace I could never have imagined after the day that James left my side.
But I have never stopped fighting for justice.
The time has now come, 25 years after my son’s murder and in light of the recent charges against Venables – last year, he was again recalled on alleged child pornography offences – that there is a renewed national conversation around the appropriate sentencing for underage criminals.
I will do all I can for James until I have no breath left.
I Let Him Go by Denise Fergus (Blink Publishing) out January 25. A portion of proceeds go to the James Bulger Memorial Trust, supporting families of victims of crime. Text JBMT00 £2/£5/£10/£20 to 70070 to donate. 100% goes to the charity. You will be charged your standard network rate plus your donation. *Extracted by Emily Retter.