I’M DISABLED AND MY SON’S DESERTED ME

Dear Coleen

I’m a 74-year-old disabled man and, unfortunately, my son has turned against me. I have asked him to help with a few jobs that I can no longer manage, but he completely ignores me. On the other hand, his motherin-law gets everything she asks for.

No, I’m not jealous – I just feel very hurt.

His mother-in-law has also called me on several occasions to tell me I’m barred from his home and won’t see much of my grandchildren.

This is all because of a very rare rant the last Christmas I went over there – about 10 years ago. I’m never taken out any more or included in any family occasion. What can I do?

Coleen says

You’ve admitted you had a rant a few years ago, so I suggest writing your son a letter, apologising for anything you might have said, but say that you miss having them in your life.

I’d recommend not bringing the mother-in-law into it – but you’ll feel better once you’ve written it.

Hopefully, your son will take the time to read it and consider what you’ve said, and respond. But you have to listen to him too – people generally don’t walk away from a parent, so you have to let him tell you what his reasons are.

And, if he’s speaking the truth, then admit to it, apologise and see if you can move forward.