Sphinx kicks up a stink over Trump porn payoff
MELANIA Trump, known here as the Slovenian Sphinx, is said to be furious after learning her husband’s lawyer arranged a £92,000 payout to a porn star to keep quiet about an affair the star claims they had.
Stormy Daniels and the President are alleged to have slept together in July 2006 after meeting at a celebrity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe, Nevada.
Now, after refusing to travel with the President to Davos and demanding a separate car to this week’s State of the Union address, questions are being asked about whether the marriage will last.
What I found bizarre, though, is that the First Lady is said to be furious with the payout. What about the fact her husband reportedly bedded a porn star?
Anyone who has flown a lot in the US will know it can be like being inside a flying kennel. I’ve seen dogs as big as Shetland ponies taken on by their owners, all under the guise that they provide “emotional support”.
One poor luvvie this week, however, tried to take her peacock on board, left. Brooklyn-based artist Ventiko, who documents the bird’s life on social media, later told how the creature, named Dexter, “really changed my life in a positive way”.
Ventiko even offered to buy it its own ticket but staff at United Airlines were not having any of it.
Won’t be long before someone claims they need an elephant for emotional support.
Bosses at The Continental bar in New York’s trendy East Village have taken to barring drinkers who use the word “literally”. They say it is literally “the most overused, annoying word in the English language – and we will not tolerate it”.
Pensioner Brian Jones was in trouble this week when the 75-year-old landed before a judge for swapping communal bread for hash-laced cookies.
One church-goer told police in Indiana, he felt as if he was “having a stroke”.
The man added he recently had a triple bypass procedure and worried if “whatever happened today was going to adversely affect his heart”.
Jones has been ordered to stay out of trouble for the next two years or face prosecution.
Clearly, he wanted to take the entire congregation to a higher plane of existence.
Despite Donald Trump’s boasts of record jobs, this week it was proven it is not always easy to find work in the States – just ask Ryder.
He was apparently laid off from his job at a restaurant chain in Michigan so the state approved £252 per week in unemployment benefits for him.
The only problem was Ryder is a dog.
P.S. Regular readers will know my barman, Richard, has two constants in his life: dieting and rowing with his mother-in-law. Now he has found an ingenious (he says) way to combine the two. He told me this week: “I haven’t been near the fridge for days. I stuck a picture of the mother-in-law on it and it has curbed my appetite ever since.”