MY BOYFRIEND WON’T CLEAR UP

Dear Coleen

I love my boyfriend but, honestly, he can be incredibly lazy and expects me to do everything, including clean up after him.

I am not his mother and I’ve told him this many times before, but he just brushes it off and says ‘it’s not a serious matter’.

I keep wondering how I’ll feel a few years down the line if he’s still behaving like this. How can I make him realise he needs to put in a bit of effort too?

Coleen says

If you’re really serious about it, then just don’t do his share of anything – let the dishes and the clothes pile up. Do your own, and when he starts noticing his stuff hasn’t been washed or ironed or put away, then it’ll provoke a discussion and then you can explain that a relationship is about sharing everything – including the mundane stuff like housework and cooking meals.

Drive home the message that you’re not his servant.

I accept it’s quite a hard thing to do if you like a clean house and everything in its place, but I’ve found that actions usually speak louder than words with this scenario.

And if he continues to slack off and you think it has the potential to be a massive problem for you, then you have to think about whether he’s the right guy for you.

The bottom line is, he may never change.