ENGAGED BUT FEELING SO OLD AND UGLY

Dear Coleen

I am 45 and engaged to a man 10 years younger than me. His best friend from school who, like him, is 35, has just got engaged to a lithe 20-year-old.

I am now in the uncomfortable position of having to meet them and I am really feeling like the ugly duckling. I am not looking forward to this meeting at all – any advice would be appreciated.

Coleen says

Why are you giving yourself such a hard time? If your partner wanted to be with a much younger woman, then I’m sure he would be. Some people like dating much younger women and men, and others can’t think of anything worse (I’m in the latter category).

You must have some confidence in yourself. Your partner asked you to marry him and he might be looking at his mate, thinking, ‘What do you have in common with someone that age? What do you talk about?’

The fact is, your boyfriend is 10 years younger, so he probably has tons of friends younger than you, but he’s with you because he wants to be. Age gaps can become a problem when couples get older and they find themselves at very different life stages and wanting different things. But as long as you’re mindful of that and can talk about it openly and honestly, then there’s no reason why you can’t have a long and happy relationship.