NEW FELLA LOOKS LIKE A TRAMP

Dear Coleen

I’ve been seeing a man for a few weeks and we have only got to the cuddling and kissing stage. I really like him, but he actually dresses like he’s living on the streets, with worn-out jeans that don’t look clean. He also wears a jacket with dandruff and hair all over it and worn-out trainers.

I always make an effort with my appearance, but he makes none whatsoever and it’s not just a scruffy look, he genuinely looks like a tramp. I know he suffers from depression (and so do I), so how can I approach this nicely without hurting his feelings?

Coleen says

Well, you have to accept that you run the risk of offending or embarrassing him. It might just be the case that he’s genuinely never given much thought to his appearance and his clothes – some people don’t. Or maybe he just doesn’t have a clue about how to dress.

Why not ask him if he fancies going clothes shopping sometime, as he seems to wear the same outfit all the time and you love shopping for clothes. Or approach it in a jokey way – ie, “Those jeans are awful – I need to take you shopping.”

But the thing is, this really might not be an issue for him, so you have to think about how much of an issue it is for you.

If this is always going to be a problem for you, then it might be a sign that he’s not the one.