We moved Mum next door so we can care for her

Sue Crozier, 50, a HR consultant, lives in Waldron, East Sussex, with husband John, a retired police officer, sons Sean, 18, and Conor, 15, next door to mum Anita, 81. I’ve always loved spoiling my mum with lunches on days like Mother’s Day. But because dementia has changed her ability to engage with us, things we enjoyed aren’t pleasurable.

For Mum’s 81st birthday, my brother and I treated her to a fivestar country house for afternoon tea. But Mum was confused and spread jam on a cheese and pickle sandwich. I thought, ‘Why are we doing this?’ So this Mother’s Day we’ll have a nice lunch at home because that’s where she’s happiest.

Mum was diagnosed with

HAPPY Conor, Sue’s mum and dad and Sean Alzheimer’s in 2013, a year after my dad was diagnosed. Every day I drove to and from their home five miles away to bring dinner. When a house came up for sale with a workshop attached, we bought it and asked builders to convert the garage and workshop into a bungalow. Now our houses are separated by a car port.

They moved in just before Dad needed 24-hour care. His decline was dramatic until it reached the point he forgot how to stand up. By the time he passed away in October 2015 he’d been in a home for a year.

Mum’s condition has taken hold more gradually. She forgot dates and repeated herself. Our family has learned to adjust. The love we have for each other is still there – we do have a giggle at everyday things. She often says, ‘I’m so happy being here’. Then she’ll apologise and say, ‘I know I repeat myself’.

Every night Mum joins us for dinner. She helped look after my sons when they were young and one of them takes her home each night. I just want Mum to feel secure. Dementia took my dad too quickly so I’m blessed to have this time with Mum.