Tee-hee... the Don has fallen in bunker again
IT’S not just playing around with porn stars that has left Donald Trump in trouble. The buffoon has now driven himself into a legal mess over his love of golf.
The US leader looks to have broken the law by ordering dozens of tee markers with the presidential seal of the United States on them.
Federal law states it can be used only for official government affairs and, if used incorrectly, could result in a penalty of up to six months in jail.
Eagle Sign and Design would not reveal who placed the order but a form lists the customer as Trump International. The company is run by the Brothers Dim – Donald Jr and Eric Trump.
Just imagine six months with no Twitter ramblings. Lawyers across the Mormon state of Utah got an unexpected email from the State Bar this week – a picture of a topless woman. The group sent out a flyer for its annual spring convention and somehow the image of a woman’s breasts got attached. “We are horrified,” said executive director John Baldwin. “Our goal is to ensure it never happens again.” Bosses are now looking for a mortified Mormon moron. Wannabe investors in crypto-currency bitcoin attended a $500-a-head conference in New York where “infused” treats were handed out that included cannabis-marinated olives.
Several potential investors left in a state of panic. One had to go back to work where she had to confess to her boss she couldn’t work any more because she felt stoned and didn’t know how – which she said was embarrassing to admit.
That’s the highs and lows of bitcoin for you. Baltimore firefighters probably made record time getting to the scene of a blaze. It was in their HQ. Forget Sinatra singing Fly Me to the Moon. NASA wants to send you to the sun – well, wants to send your name, at least.
It is accepting online submissions and the list of names will be on board the Parker Solar Probe as it ventures within four million miles of the sun this summer.
It’s the hottest ticket in town. Pastor Stephen Chandler tapped into his divine inspiration to bolster falling attendances at the Destiny Church in Columbia, Maryland.
As each parishioner walked into church on Sunday, he handed them a raffle ticket to give them the chance of winning one of five used cars.
Needless to say, the churchman had to hold four services to accommodate his new flock.
He’s hoping the numbers don’t stall. P.S. Every bar has characters and mine is no different. My barman Richard asked our resident joker Dom: “The usual?” Dom replied: “All right. But stop me at three. No, make it three-thirty.”