MY DAUGHTER EATS TOO MUCH

Dear Coleen

I would like some advice with regards to my daughter, who is seriously obese and continues to get worse by the week.

She tends to blame depression and me, as I am not very tolerant when it comes to her excuses.

I’d welcome your opinion on how I can handle the situation so she can make the changes she needs to her life.

Coleen says

It sounds as if she’s using food to fill an emotional hole and food addiction is no different to any other compulsive disorder.

Yes, it’s hard sometimes for loved ones to be patient when you can see so clearly what that person needs to do to get well. But you can’t say “Just stop doing it”and expect it to be that easy. Your daughter has to do it and she has to want to do it.

I also think if you’re constantly angry with her it’s not going to help – if anything, it’ll make her retreat into herself more and eat more, especially if her eating is being driven by her emotions.

So try to adopt a more supportive approach – “It’s your life, but the reason I get frustrated is because I love you and I’m worried your eating will damage your health beyond repair”, and then ask her how you can help.

Talk to her about her reasons – she mentions depression and that’s something she can talk to a GP about and get help with. Perhaps she’s daunted because she knows how much weight she must lose. That can be overwhelming and the easiest thing to do is just to carry on.

It might also be useful to get in touch with Overeaters Anonymous, oagb.org.uk.