POLLYOMETER

Going down...

Lip dross Just in time for Easter, chocolate lipgloss is now available to buy. Utterly pointless way to waste your money... but on the upside, at least we can now update the teapot as the most useless chocolate invention.

App to the future Decades after we thought we’d escaped for good, Tamagotchis are back – this time on your phone. Bad idea – only because who has the time, right? Nope, nothing to do with still being traumatised by losing one in my living room and being able to hear anguished beeps as its life slowly ebbed away...