DEAR COLEEN

NEED A STRAIGHT ANSWER TO A PROBLEM?

Dear Coleen

My best friend’s spending habits are a problem. We both used to be quite wild when it came to spending and partying, however, as the years have gone on I seem to have matured but she hasn’t. She lives in a big city and the party lifestyle can be pretty enticing I’m sure, but I’m starting to feel the knock-on effects of this.

She has a great job working in a restaurant and makes roughly the same as me every month, but I have more responsibilities and bills to pay than her. But a week after pay day, she is always penniless!

It frustrates me because I have to hear about how horrible it is having no money and having to stretch every penny until the end of the month, but then I also hear about all the shopping and nights out she’s planning as soon as she gets paid again.

Am I being unreasonable to get annoyed that she isn’t trying harder to make her money last?

She is recently single and was partying just as much when she was in a relationship, except then she had someone to help her out when money became tight. She gets annoyed at me if I try and offer her advice, so I’ve reached a crisis point.

I’ve let her ‘borrow’ some money every now and then, but I rarely get it back. I keep telling myself that this is the last time, but I always cave in. I sometimes have my suspicions that when I send her money she uses it to fund her partying. I don’t want to lose her friendship, but I don’t want to fund her lifestyle either!

Coleen says

It is frustrating to see someone spending cash like it’s going out of fashion and then having to lend them money. So, what you can do is stop lending her money and enabling that behaviour.

Simply explain to her that you have to budget so you can make your salary last until the next pay day.

The bottom line is, if you don’t want your friendship to be ruined by money, then you have to stop lending it to her unless you’re the type of person who can lend it and not worry if you ever see it again.

I also think you should stop getting so wound up by the way she’s living her life and spending her cash. Just be her mate and if she doesn’t have a safety net of friends and boyfriends to bail her out every time she overspends, then hopefully she’ll start learning to be more sensible when it comes to her finances.

But there’s no reason this should have such an impact on your life – unless you let it.