GUILTY, M’LUD

Biscuit sales are up on last year according to manufacturers... and it’s all down to healthy innovations like Digestive Thins – no doubt because you have to eat at least 30 of those things before you even realise you’ve opened the packet. I recently concluded I have a relationship with biscuits – currently custard creams – which, if they were human, would verge on the illegal. Certainly restraining orders would be in place. And no healthy innovation in the biscuit market is going to stop me...