HAUNTED BY MY CHEATING BOYFRIENDS

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my early 30s and I’ve been dating someone for a few months. I like him a lot, but I’m finding I can’t relax and give the relationship a proper go because every one of my previous boyfriends has treated me pretty badly – such as cheating, lying and emotional abuse.

This new boyfriend really is a lovely guy, but how can I trust him when every other partner has let me down? He’s very keen for me to meet his family in a few weeks’ time, but I’m so worried about it all going wrong – again. Any advice?

Coleen says

I understand you’re wary after being hurt, but the only way to find out if you have a future together is to stop comparing him to previous partners and let yourself embrace the possibility that he won’t turn out like all the others.

Yes, relationships go wrong, and so could this one, but you can’t allow the people who let you down make you distrust everyone.

If I’d had that attitude I wouldn’t have remarried and had my daughter. I really believe you have to give people a chance otherwise you miss opportunities that could be life-changing or even just fabulous for a short time.

He obviously likes you a lot if he wants you to meet his family, so try to relax and enjoy it.