Really love you, pet.. I was talking to the cat

Our animal, not partner, is No1

Real, trusting friendship is hard to find. Dogs are different. They’re open Husbands do want – and expect – a say. They act like it is their right. Ugh

DON’T tell your better half, but most people prefer their pets to their partners.

A study revealed they feel fine with felines, not hounded by hounds. Things most often go swimmingly with a goldfish too, presumably.

One in three people surveyed said their mutt or moggie made them laugh, while four in 10 think Fido or Tiddles help them reduce stress and stay fit.

The poll of 10,000 pet owners revealed three quarters treat their cat or dog as part of the family.

Andrew Moore, head of pet claims at More Th>n, said: “As a vet I’ve seen people rely on pets more and more for happiness and companionship.”

Here, two pet lovers explain why a cat and dog make them happier than their partner…

DOG FAN

MARK EVANS TV VET

My wife has a keyring that reads: “The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.” She is a vet like me, yet I remember when I first saw it I thought it was a bit strange.

Now it makes total sense to me, because dogs are non-judgmental, they don’t care what you do for a living, how cool you are, how much money you have… or if you’ve left the toilet seat up. They are the ultimate soulmates. Through thick and thin, their love is unconditional.

If you come downstairs in your tattiest pullover and those saggy old jogging bottoms, your wife might judge you – but your dog won’t.

A dog doesn’t question your point of view, your peculiar passions or your politics. But they are great listeners. And millions of us love to chat with them, even if the conversation is a bit one-sided.

I remember driving around with my old Labrador Jessie and setting the world to rights. If you were to stop and listen to yourself you would think: “Am I going mad?” But a pet is always there to lend a supportive ear.

When your partner wants to lounge on the couch, you can rely on your pet to keep you motivated through that evening walk or run.

Get the relationship right, understand your dog as well as your dog understands you, and it will be a partnership like no other.

As humans we constantly deceive ourselves and each other. Real, trusting friendships are tricky to find. Dogs are different. They are open and honest.

But then it isn’t that surprising that our oh so cool canine chums are the creature we’re closest to – we’ve been hanging out together for ever. Well, at least 12,000 years.

Coming home from work after a hard day, there’s nothing more relaxing in the world than the comfort of a dog lounging in your lap. Sorry, Mrs Evans…

■ Mark Evans is a vet and TV presenter. Find him on Facebook and Twitter as MarkEvansTV.

CAT FAN

POLLY HUDSON

My pets make me happier than my partner for a lengthy series of highly complex reasons.

It’s honestly not just because my pets can’t talk, but let’s maybe start there, as it happened to be the first thing that popped into my head.

Because pets can’t talk, they can’t have an opinion – or if they do, they have to try really hard to get it across to you in other ways, so my pets usually can’t be bothered, ie are cats.

As a result, there’s a ratio of one million to zero when it comes to rows I have with my husband compared to with my cats. Not a coincidence.

My cats’ needs are very simple. If they’re hungry, even a stranger to the kitchen like myself can happily satisfy them, especially now you don’t even need to use a can opener.

Then they need sleep, so they go and sleep. Simple as that. They get a bad rap, but cats are surprisingly low maintenance – you don’t have to take them for walks in the rain or pick up their poo – you just feed and water them, and leave them to it. They’re pretty hard to annoy, and they will watch anything on telly – it’s the perfect living arrangement. Husbands, on the other hand, do want – and, horrifyingly, expect – a say. On Everything. They almost act like it is their right. Ugh. Cats are never too hot, so they always approve of you turning the heating up when other people who shall remain nameless have secretly turned it down. A cat would never do that – regardless of not being able to reach, or having thumbs. No pet would ever stoop that low.