MY FRIEND SPILLED MY SECRETS

Dear Coleen

My best friend and I are both 22 and have known each other since we were 16.

Recently, we’ve become less close but keep in touch. She has just started dating someone and, when I first met him, he revealed that my friend had told him lots of personal things about me which I’d told her in confidence – everything from my brother’s attempted suicide to an abortion I had when I was 17.

I was livid, as these are very private details that I’ve never told anyone else, yet she told a guy she’s only known for a few months. I haven’t spoken to her about it yet, but I feel so betrayed and don’t think I could trust her again. Would I be overreacting to end our friendship? That’s how I’m feeling right now!

Coleen says

I think you should talk to her about it first, even if you end up not being friends.

I wonder why her boyfriend blurted this out? It makes me wonder whether he’s trying to stir up some trouble.

Explain to her you’re upset because you trusted her with that information 100%, and now feel you won’t be able to trust her in the future and be yourself with her. Listen to what she has to say and make your mind up.

It sounds as if you’ve been growing apart and it’s normal for that to happen with some friends as time goes on and life and circumstances intervene.

And friendships can hit rocky patches, too, where you need to talk things out. Don’t bottle it up, as your anger and resentment will only grow.

To the woman who said her husband wants them to have a threesome with a man, I say don’t do it whether it’s with a man or woman! (Dear Coleen, April 12).

Fantasies can be exciting, but the reality of these scenarios is very different, and that is because emotions are involved.

Her husband could very well become jealous of her being with the other guy and that, in turn, could lead to the disintegration of the marriage. Is it really worth the risk?

Debbie R, via email