IS GIRLFRIEND TOO CLOSE TO HER BROTHER?

Dear Coleen

I’m starting to feel a bit resentful (maybe jealous) of my girlfriend’s relationship with her brother. They are only a school year apart and have always been very close because they’re close in age.

She always gets advice from him, stays over at his flat a lot and basically thinks the sun shines out of his behind! Am I being silly to feel threatened by this? We’ve been dating for nearly six months and we’re both in our early twenties.

Coleen says

I don’t think you should feel threatened – it’s a sibling bond and totally different to the relationship you have with her. And if you try to come between them, you might find you’re the one who ends up being elbowed out!

I think it’s a very positive thing that she gets on so well with her brother – I get plenty of letters from siblings who are at loggerheads. The less threatened you are, the closer she’ll be to you and I’m sure she’ll love it if you get along well with her brother too.

As long as you’re spending enough time together and he’s not coming along on dates, then I think you’re worrying over nothing. The fact is, when you have a relationship with someone, you have to share that person with lots of other people. You might find that if you get to know her brother better, you’ll be put at ease.