Don’t be a snowflake ...failing is best way to succeed
Author urges kids to conquer their fear of looking silly
Kids are becoming more anxious, stressed and fearful of failure. That is what evidence suggests, and most parents will nod in agreement.
Social media has a lot to do with it. Young people are surrounded by airbrushed pictures of perfect lives in a digital world free of blemishes.
Is it any wonder that kids are scared of looking anything less than pristine?
Is it any wonder they don’t like to put their hand up in class in case they, God forbid, get something wrong?
Is it any wonder they hate taking risks in case they look a bit silly?
The tragedy, of course, is that taking risks is the best way to grow, and looking foolish from time to time can be a liberation.
I remember meeting James Dyson, the great British inventor. He has built his entire business on failing as fast as possible.
He went through 5,126 failed prototypes before creating his revolutionary dual cyclone vacuum cleaner. He said: “The quicker you get things wrong, the faster you learn.”
Tennis player Serena Williams made the same point when I met her a few years ago. She said: “It is the difficult times that make you into a champion. Young girls
Successful creative endeavours come from trial, error and a dose of reflection
should always be willing to take on challenges, to dare to be different.”
A report by a think-tank found that children today will do 17 different jobs in their careers, most of which haven’t yet been invented.
Technology is transforming the way we live and work. In this world, that “can do” attitude is even more important.
Being good at school is only half the trick. Soft skills – being adaptive, curious and courageous – are key.
Think back to when we were growing up. Mum or dad would teach us how to rewire a plug or change a tyre. Who knows if plugs will even exist in a few years’ time?
Cars might not have drivers in a decade from now, let alone tyres. It is not just our kids who will need to embrace the unknown – so will parents and grandparents.
We will all have to demonstrate flexibility, curiosity and willingness to take risks. Nobody can afford to be a snowflake.
I have learned a lot from Robbie Savage, the footballer, and Andrew “Freddie” Flintoff, the cricketer. I co-host a podcast with the two of them on the BBC. Mirror columnist Rob was not the most talented footballer, but he has a fantastic attitude. He works hard and takes on every challenge with relish.
He made more Premier League appearances than Ian Wright and has become a high-profile pundit. Robbie’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but nobody could doubt his willingness to try new things. Freddie has turned his hand to acting, singing and presenting, learning with each new challenge. Cricket may have given him the opportunities, but he has seized them with relish. He recently did an Elvis impersonation at a cricket match, and fell over a loudspeaker as he walked backwards belting out his number. He jumped back on his feet and carried on. Freddie said: “I looked a bit silly, but it is not the end of the world.” A couple of years ago, a design college started an exhibition about creativity called “Permission to Fail”. The curator asked a group of 50 prestigious designers and illustrators to send in their mess-ups, rough drafts and preliminary sketches so that they could be put on display.
They wanted to show how any final product, however beautiful and impressive, is invariably preceded by a lot of false starts.
As one artist put it: “Successful, creative endeavours are achieved by trial and error, with a good dose of reflection. Miss out the experimentation, and new, amazing wonders won’t be discovered.
“By always doing the same thing, the same results often ensue.”
Richard Branson made almost exactly the same point.
Asked to explain the secret of his success, his answer was emphatic: “The best entrepreneurs are the ones who are brave enough to try new things, and resilient enough to learn from mistakes. “Perfectionism is for losers.” This is why I have written a book
We will all have to show we are flexible, curious and willing to take risks
for youngsters. I want to encourage children to ditch the hang-ups about failure, and to become less anxious and more fulfilled.
I want them to embrace looking silly occasionally, and to be willing to ask questions when they don’t know the answer.
Confidence is not some trait that some people have and others don’t. It can be cultivated.
It is too easy to become trapped by the curse of perfectionism, and to retreat into one’s comfort zone.
Life will pass you by. If success is a journey, we have to take risks to reach great destinations.
As the creativity expert Ken Robinson put it: “If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.”
You Are Awesome: Find Your Confidence and Dare to be Brilliant at (Almost) Anything by Matthew Syed, out now, (Wren & Rook, £9.99).