NOT SURE I SHOULD MARRY HIM

Dear Coleen

I am 21 years old and engaged with my wedding due next year. For the majority of our relationship I have struggled with mental health issues and had to put quite a bit on hold. However, I’ve started doing something I love again (performing) and I am currently involved in an amateur production.

Since I’ve been feeling better there seems to be this massive disconnect between my partner and me. We have both been trying to work on it, but it just seems very forced.

I’ve met another guy doing my production and it’s just friendship, but it feels good to talk to another guy other than my partner and to feel a connection. I’m very confused and now I’m feeling up to it, I want to go off and do things, so I feel very stuck within my relationship.

Coleen says

First of all, it’s great news that you’re feeling better and that you’re doing something so positive for yourself. Well done.

You’re still very young and I think while you’re having these doubts about your relationship, you shouldn’t be getting married. Why not put the wedding on hold for the time being to give yourself space to enjoy feeling well again and think about the direction you want your life to go in?

You’ve started engaging with other people and that’s a good thing, too. There’s no reason why you can’t take a break from your partner to see how you both feel.

It could be that now you’re feeling stronger mentally and have more confidence, you’re realising that you want more than your current relationship is offering, and it’s perfectly OK to admit to that.