GROSS..1 DROSS..0

Dire United undone by flying Seagulls & goal line technology

PASCAL GROSS stunned a lacklustre Manchester United as Brighton sealed their topflight survival.

The German’s header just crept over the line to earn Chris Hughton’s side a famous win. The second-half

DON’T bother with the postcards, Jose – this was nothing to write home about.

If Manchester United were using their excursion to the seaside as an audition for FA Cup final places, most of the fringe candidates played themselves out of contention.

And if manager Jose Mourinho was tempted to shuffle the pack against Chelsea at Wembley in a fortnight, surely he will be leaving the deck of cards well alone now.

David De Gea was required to show why he is United’s player of the season, but the rest were more laid back than the day trippers who will sink into deckchairs on the beach this weekend.

Even the admirable De Gea could not prevent brave, blustering Brighton from scoring their first goal against United in 26 years. Marcos Rojo hooked clear, only for referee Craig Pawson’s hi-tech watch to confirm Pascal Gross had smuggled the ball fractionally over the line.

But United were flattered by such a fine margin – they were miles, not inches, off the pace at the Amex.

They had no shape, no cohesion, no imagination – and when Mourinho sent in the cavalry, it could not hide the impoverished nature of his side’s performance.

Brighton’s previous win against United before last night was in 1982, before the Smith-must-score Cup final, and that last goal came when a young pup named David Beckham was making his debut at the Goldstone Ground.

And on an ideal night for carrying young children around the pitch on a lap of honour way past their bedtime, there was a sense of dry land ahoy for the Seagulls.

But this has been a mixed season for United, and they still do not know whether to laugh or cry. Trailing home miles behind the noisy neighbours in the title race, tanking in Europe and getting mugged by Bristol City in the League Cup was not in the script in August.

Yet a top-two finish would be United’s best in the postFergie era.

And they had never lost any of their previous nine Premier League games played on a Friday, the most impenetrable night of the week for travelling fans.

Billion-pound contracts or not, it is high time TV companies and football’s ruling cabal got the message: Sooner or later, even loyal supporters will tell them to stuff Bank Holiday weekend traffic and they can show swathes of empty seats to broadcast partners around the globe.

Latecomers in the visitors’ paddock – and there were hundreds of them – missed Marouane Fellaini’s effort in the third minute, disallowed when he strayed a fraction offside.

United came a cropper at Huddersfield and Newcastle, and never before had they lost at all three promoted clubs in the same season.

Brighton’s enthusiasm for completing the hat-trick was fortified by Glenn Murray’s dipping volley, which forced a save from De Gea.

He was soon required to apply his fingertips to Jose Izquierdo’s speculative potshot as Albion cranked up the intensity and their fans turned up the volume.

Mourinho’s prudent housekeeping – six changes, with Alexis Sanchez left at home – may have been with one eye on the FA Cup final in a fortnight.

But if United are to reel in the champions across town, fitful and disjointed scuffling is not going to bridge the gap in a hurry.