HE DOESN’T WANT ME TO GO TO WORK

Dear Coleen

I love my husband, but he is adamant that he doesn’t want me to work. When pushed on the subject, all I get from him is, “I’m worried you’d rather be on your own” or “I’m worried you’re going to leave me”.

We don’t have any kids, so I could work without it being a childcare issue, and I can see how it would benefit us financially.

Plus I’m so fed up at home all day – there are only so many coffee mornings you can go to! Please help.

Coleen says This is all down to his insecurity. If you really want to go out to work, then you should because the chances are that if you don’t do it, in order to please him, there’s an even bigger chance you’ll leave as he’s denying you something.

You’ll start to resent him for it and it will cause problems in your marriage. Explain that to him.

Plus, his reason is a stupid one – you could meet someone at Tesco and fall in love or have an affair if that’s what you’re looking for!

He has to trust you and deal with his own issues, perhaps through counselling. It is awful to feel that insecure and perhaps it comes down to his parents’ relationship or a previous partner, or even an experience that one of his friends went through.

It always relates to something, but trying to control you is not the solution. Eventually, you’ll feel so hemmed in you will want to leave.