HE WANTS TO DRESS AS A WOMAN

Dear Coleen

My husband and I are in our 50s and we’ve been together for nearly 30 years. We don’t have any children. For a couple of years he’s been dressing up in women’s lingerie when we make love.

When he first suggested it I was shocked, but we tried it and, actually, it improved our sex life.

However, recently he’s told me that he wants to start dressing as a woman during the day and that feels like something entirely different. In private when we’re in bed is one thing, but where is this going? I thought it was just a sex thing and I don’t know how I’ll feel about him dressing to look like a woman. I love him and I don’t want him to be unhappy, but I don’t know what to do. What’s your advice?

outside of sex. I think you have to be honest with him about that and he should be honest with you about how far he wants to take things.

Does he plan to dress up at home or is he planning to go out in public dressed up?

You seem very understanding and you clearly have a strong relationship, but I think you need some questions answered.

Perhaps deep down you’re worried he wants to transition or that he’s attracted to men.

If that’s the case, you need to put those things to him. You both need to lay all your cards on the table.

I understand you love him and want him to be happy, but you have to be happy, too, if your relationship is to survive.

Decide what you’re prepared to accept and discuss it.