I CAN’T DECIDE IF I WANT A BABY

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, we’re both 30 and got married last year. A few of my friends have started having babies and, naturally, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, especially since turning 30.

The thing is, we haven’t really been together that long and only married for a year, and I love our life the way it is. We both have good jobs, a great social life and things are pretty great.

I suppose I’m worried about how a baby will affect our relationship because I see how my friends struggle sometimes to go out and are always complaining they don’t have enough time on their own with their partners. I hope this doesn’t sound trivial, but I feel at a crossroads and don’t know what to do.

Coleen says

There’s no doubt that having children does have an impact on your relationship and you have to work harder to nurture it. But I don’t think you’d ever regret becoming a mum. As you’ve seen with your own friends, it can be very tough – less sleep, less money, less time for yourself and your partner – but it also brings a lot of love into your life and you get to share that with your partner.

I’ve also had plenty of letters from older women in their 40s struggling with the fact they’ve left it too late to have a baby naturally.

As long as you go into parenthood knowing it’s not a bed of roses and that you’ll have to adapt, then you’ll be more prepared for what’s around the corner.

Talk to your husband about it and find out what he wants. The important thing is to communicate and support each other. Good luck!