OUR MARRIAGE WAS A MISTAKE

Dear Coleen

I’m 29 and I’ve been with my husband for 12 years. Boys never showed me much interest and he was the first one to pay my any attention, so when he asked me out I was flattered.

But as time has gone on I’ve realised that I don’t really have romantic feelings for him, even though he’s a lovely guy and we’re great friends.

He proposed in front of both our families and I found myself saying yes, despite having niggling doubts.

We got married last summer and almost one year on I know I’ve made a mistake.

He wants to try for a baby but all I want is a divorce. I just don’t know how to walk away from a year-long marriage. What will our friends and family say?

How would I explain it? I don’t know what to do and I’m tying myself in knots.

Coleen says

This is a really sad and lonely situation to be in. But if it’s not right, it’s not right and you can’t just stay with him, getting more miserable by the day, just to please your family and friends. I suspect that’s why you got married in the first place, to be honest.

But you have to think how this is going to work long term. Before you know it, you’ll have kids and then you’ll be even more trapped and have even more people’s feelings to consider.

So you need to act sooner rather than later. I think the first person you should sit down and talk to is him. Just be kind, honest and say sorry. It will be hard and heartbreaking, and you’ll feel terrible. Your friends and family will probably be shocked and upset, but they’ll get over it.

You can’t stay in an unhappy marriage – stay true to what you know is the right thing.