Am I wrong to let my 11-year-old daughter watch Love Island?
Despite all of the sex, swearing and stupidity...
MY daughters were first introduced to the joys of Love Island a couple of years ago – by our babysitter.
When I found out what she had let them watch, I was horrified and banned it immediately.
But as every parent knows, the more illicit something is the more attractive it becomes to a child.
So I decided that if you can’t beat them, join them, figuring that if I watched it with them it was better than them watching it in secret on a phone or iPad.
Also, it isn’t just my two girls who are watching it. Most of their friends are too and they were desperate not to be left out of all the gossip.
This had happened before. I insisted my eldest daughter Gracie wasn’t allowed a mobile phone until she was in high school.
I finally relented when she was 10 as she was the only girl in her class who didn’t have one and was missing out on the group chats.
So I watched the last series with Gracie, and this time, when the series started on Monday, my youngest, Lola, joined us.
They may only be 13 and 11 but sex is something we have talked about and they have learned about at school. And the choice language is no different to stuff they hear every day on the school bus.
When I was growing up, sex was never talked about in our house and I remember going red, cringing in embarrassment and wanting the sofa to swallow me up if anything remotely sexy came on TV when I was watching with my parents.
I’m proud that my daughters feel comfortable seeing Love Island with me and asking any questions they might have, instead of wondering in private and gleaning misinformation off pals.
My view is that if we watch Love Island together I can talk to them about any potentially risqué behaviour or issues that may arise. Just as we discuss child sex grooming, rape, drug abuse and abortion on Coronation Street.
I have already explained that jumping into bed with someone within five minutes of meeting them isn’t normal behaviour.
Love Island is another example of telly helping to start conversations that you might normally find awkward to have with your child.
We cringe in unison at the behaviour of the islanders. My daughters find it hilarious that the girls prance around in bikinis and wedge heels (huge fashion faux pas) and that the boys all appear to be wearing fake tan. They laughed when Hayley didn’t know what “superficial” meant but I explained it was better for her to ask rather than pretending she knew and remaining ignorant.
Don’t think because we watch Love Island that I am a liberal parent where anything goes. Far from it. We have strict rules about the way the girls are expected to behave and they know that working hard, having selfrespect and being kind to people are the most important of those. Watching Love Island does not make them aspire to go on the programme rather than heading off to university. Instead it makes them incredulous that anybody would want to be famous for getting it on in front of millions of people. I admit there is a certain irony in letting them watch a show that is on after their bedtime on a school night. But we record it and watch it together on catch-up the next day. And that way I can prepare myself in advance for any awkward questions they might have. There is no right or wrong here. Every parent has to make their own choices for their own children. But it’s the 21st century and kids can access so much online that I believe it is better to encourage openness rather than pretending they aren’t watching.
They find it hilarious the girls prance around in bikinis and wedge heels