DON’T WANT KIDS AT EX’S WEDDING

Dear Coleen

My husband and I separated two years ago after 10 years of marriage. We had three children under 10 and I thought we were happy. Then he announced he was leaving me for a woman at work.

Soon after he left she became pregnant and they now have a young daughter. At Christmas they announced they were engaged and they’re getting married in August.

My husband wants our youngest daughter to be a bridesmaid and our two sons to be page boys. But it breaks my heart to think of my little girl getting all dressed up on the morning of the wedding with the woman who was sleeping with my husband behind my back.

My friends say I need to let it go and allow my daughter to do it, but it’s killing me. What can I do?

Coleen says

I understand why it’s killing you, but I think your friends are right. Don’t let your daughter be the weapon to get back at your ex.

It’s an easy way to get back at him and take out all that anger you must be feeling, because of course it’s hurtful to think of your little girl being with the woman who’s now with your ex.

But remember, he’s still her dad and she loves him.

When she gets older she probably won’t like what he’s done to you, but for now she doesn’t need to get caught up in that. You’ll always be her mum, not this other woman, but every little girl dreams of being a bridesmaid so let her go to the wedding. Even if you sob your heart out on the day, you must let your kids know you’re OK with them being there.

Then, on the day, go out with your friends and do something wonderful like having a spa day or a nice lunch. Don’t just sit there moping.