MY PARENTS WON’T ACCEPT THAT I’M GAY

Dear Coleen

How do I deal with living with strict, closed-minded parents? I’m a lesbian and unable to bring girls to our house as my mother says it’s “invading her privacy”. However, I know in reality it’s because I’m gay.

She thinks I’m just going through a phase, saying that once I go to uni it will change. My father doesn’t really confront it, although he’s as closed off as my mum.

She recently caught me sleeping with my girlfriend and ever since then has been pressuring me to like men and restricting me from doing things.

What can I do during the remaining time in this house in order for me to feel free and more accepted?

Coleen says

It’s a difficult situation as you’re still living under their roof and, gay or straight, you have to stick to their rules when it comes to people staying over.

But what you can say to them is, “You can stop me bringing girls home, but it won’t change who I am. If I want to meet my girlfriend I’ll see her somewhere else or go to her place where I do feel accepted”.

You don’t have to say it in an angry way – tell them you love them and want them to accept your sexuality and your choices.

Also, have patience – it won’t be long until you go to uni and you can be as free as you like, and you will have a great time. Eventually, your parents will realise it’s not a phase and you can have honest conversations with them.