PARTNER IS NASTY TO MY SON

Dear Coleen

My partner and I were together for nearly two years until I kicked him out recently. He wasn’t being very supportive and lacked commitment.

We have a 13-week-old baby together, and he has brought up my 15-month-old daughter since she was a newborn. I also have a four-year-old boy from a previous relationship.

My partner has never shown much interest in my son and can be quite nasty to him sometimes. I told him if he can’t accept my lad then it’s over. The problem is, my son’s dad was his best mate, but they’re no longer friends.

I was in love with my partner from the age of 15, but he was in a relationship at the time, so I settled for someone else and, a few years later, my son came along. Now I feel that since the thrill of the chase has gone, so has the excitement in our relationship. I’ve tried to be sexual with him, but there’s simply no romance.

I’ve told him how I feel and I don’t want things to be over for good because I still love him, but how can we get back to where we were? I hardly hear from him – instead he ignores me and goes out drinking with his mates.

Coleen says

Well, you’ve told him how you feel and if he’s ignoring you, then I think for now you need to focus on yourself and your children.

It’s a high-stress situation with three very young kids and it sounds as if he’s not mature enough to handle it. He might grow up and think about what he’s got to lose and want to try again, but you both have to be committed to making things work. In the meantime, just try to ensure he takes responsibility for his own child.

I don’t care how much you love him, you can’t turn a blind eye to him being nasty your son. He has to be your priority.

If he’s immature to the point of taking things out on a child, then you have to work out why you still want him around.