HE IS JUST USING ME FOR SEX

Dear Coleen

My husband and I have been separated for a few months now after constant arguments. Luckily, we don’t have children.

However, since we’ve been apart, we’ve seen each other as friends. We seem to get along much better when we don’t live under the same roof. And we do have sex, but sometimes I feel like that’s the only reason he still wants me around.

He seems happy with the arrangement, in fact, to be honest, he’s happier than I’ve seen him in years. I feel used, though. Am I being paranoid?

Coleen says

Um, no! And of course he’s as happy as Larry – this little arrangement means he can enjoy sex with you, but still be free to date other women because you’re “separated”. Well, I don’t think you are, are you?

You might not be living under the same roof, but you’re still meeting up regularly and sleeping together.

The point of a separation is to find out if you miss each other and whether it’s worth trying to make your relationship work. How will that happen if you’re still in each other’s lives so much?

I know you love him, but if you want a chance of things working out long term, then you need to stay away from him completely for a decent amount of time.

He needs to realise what he has to lose.