SO FED UP OF FRIEND’S FAKE BREAK-UP WOE

Dear Coleen

A good friend of mine keeps talking about the split from her husband and wants to discuss it. However, I’m having a tough time actually accepting that they’ve broken up.

They text every day, she goes to see him every week at the place he’s renting and they even sleep together. To me, that’s not a breakup, it’s just that they’re not living together at the moment.

It has been going on for more than five months now. Is it just me?

What would you say to her if she were your friend? I’m lost!

Coleen says

I agree with you – it’s not a proper break-up because all that’s changed is that they’re not living under the same roof. And I think it’s absolutely fair enough to make that point to her if she’s looking for your advice.

I imagine he moved out for a good reason, but it’s very hard to gain any kind of perspective on how you want to move forward with the relationship – if at all – when you’re still such a big part of each other’s lives. So you can make that point to her, but whether she does anything about it is up to her.

It can be really frustrating when a friend continually makes the conversation all about them, especially when you’ve tried to listen and counsel them.

If it’s becoming a one-way street, then make a point of steering the conversation away from the break-up and see how she reacts. Maybe she’d benefit from relationship therapy too.