HE’S PUTTING NO EFFORT INTO SEX

Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about eight months. When we got together the sex was amazing, but now it’s just routine. I always make the first move, then put in all the effort until he’s satisfied.

We do get along really well, but there’s no passion in bed any more – it’s like he’s phoning it in! I have spoken to him about it, but I know if I keep going on about it, it’ll turn him off even more.

Any tips?

Coleen says

He sounds a bit selfish and lazy to be honest. So I think you should stop being so keen to please him.

And you don’t have to nag him. I imagine if you stop initiating sex for a while, eventually he’ll wonder why. And when he asks, explain it’s difficult for you to feel sexy and desired when you’re the only one making any effort.

I think if you just carry on the way you are, he has no reason to change.

If you make your point and nothing changes or he refuses to even discuss it, then you have to consider whether this relationship can stand the test of time.

If you’re struggling sexually eight months in, then what’s it going to be like in eight years?