MUM’S LOST IT OVER DAD’S AFFAIR

Dear Coleen

Recently, my mum kicked my dad out of our house after she found out he’d been having an affair with a neighbour. He’s now living with this other woman and my mum is so angry.

I understand she’s upset and I’m angry with my dad, too, for doing this to our family, but I can’t reason with her. I’m 21 and my younger sister is 18, and the way she’s reacted is upsetting for us.

She’s bad-mouthing him to anyone who will listen and has chucked most of his stuff on the lawn outside this other woman’s house, which was embarrassing.

It’s hard to live with. Any ideas?

Coleen says

OK, she’s been humiliated and hurt and her emotions are still raw, so that’s why she’s behaving like this. She’s angry! And she probably doesn’t know what to do with these feelings, so she’s lashing out.

So, while it’s undeniably horrible for you and your sister, your mother’s marriage is in ruins and she’s been totally blindsided by it. I’m sure she will calm down soon but, in the meantime, maybe you can talk to other people in the family and explain the situation at home – an aunt or grandma you’re close to.

They could try talking to your mum about the impact it’s having on you – she’s so caught up in herself right now that she’s not thinking about how this is affecting you and your sister.

And maybe there’s some stuff you can do to help your mum out during this difficult patch – even if it’s just clearing up after dinner and getting her a cup of tea.

She’ll appreciate it and hopefully she’ll realise that you need to support each other and talk about what’s happened. Good luck.