WORRIED BY HER WEEKEND AWAY OFFER

Dear Coleen

I am seeing a lady 20 years younger than me, and I enjoy her company. She also has a close friendship with someone else, but I’m not jealous. I lost my partner about eight months ago and, at the wake, this lady suggested we get together and enjoy each other’s company.

She has recently suggested a weekend away, just the two of us, although we currently have a relationship that’s like sister and brother. I’d like to have a more affectionate relationship, but am I wise in accepting her offer and should I continue with the relationship, as I’m unable to decide?

Coleen says

I know you say you’re not jealous of her other relationship, but I’d be wary of the fact she has another man and I wonder if he knows about you.

I think if she wants to take the relationship to the next stage, then she ought to be transparent about this other relationship and about what her expectations are when it comes to your friendship. Why not tell her you like the idea of becoming closer, but you wouldn’t be interested while this other man is on the scene?

Also, the fact you’ve written to me shows you’re not sure of this woman and her motives, and usually it’s wise to trust our gut instinct. It worries me that she made a move on you at your wife’s wake. To say that’s forward is a huge understatement!

Trust your intuition and why not ask some of your friends what they think, too? But if you decide she’s not for you, then I’m sure there are plenty of other women closer to your age who would love your companionship.