HE IS READY TO WED, BUT I’M NOT SURE

Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my boyfriend for seven years and I think he’s going to propose to me when we’re on holiday at the end of August.

I’ve picked up on some things he’s said and my best friend almost hinted as much, although she didn’t say anything outright. The thing is, although I love him and we get on really well, I’m still not sure he’s the one – is that normal?

Recently, I’ve felt a bit like we’re going through the motions, and while it’s lovely and safe and great on paper, every time I think about marrying him, I get this weird feeling in my stomach. Help!

Coleen says

I certainly don’t think you should agree to marriage while your stomach is doing somersaults at the thought of it.

Sometimes we ignore those gut feelings at our peril, but your intuition is telling you marriage isn’t right yet – or it might never be.

My sister Maureen was with a guy for eight years and they were perfect on paper, but she didn’t feel 100% about the relationship and realised that if she still didn’t want to commit to him after all that time, then she never would.

It’s a brave thing to end something that from the outside seems so great and people think you’re wonderful together and have lots of expectations.

And it’s scary for you too: “What if I don’t meet The One?”

But if you’re having doubts, then be honest about them and talk to your boyfriend. Don’t get caught up in planning a wedding and end up walking down the aisle to marry a guy you’re not sure about.