CAN I HELP MY GRIEVING WIFE COPE?

Dear Coleen

My wife’s mother passed away two months ago and I’m finding it hard to help her.

She’s become very closed off, won’t accept any affection and takes herself off to cry.

Our daughter is only a year old, so too young to understand, and my wife is still attending to all her needs and being a devoted mum. In fact, I think it’s helping my wife that she has to focus on our daughter.

We’ve both recently turned 40 and it’s the first time that either of us has lost someone this close to us, so it’s a struggle.

Can you help?

Coleen says

It’s still early days and I’m sure your wife will go through stages of grief in the coming months.

The most important thing you can do is just be there for her when she needs you and let her know you’re ready to listen or to talk whenever she wants.

If she wants to disappear for a while to have a cry and spend some time on her own, then give her the space to do it.

As well as emotional support, there might be some practical ways you can help her, whether it’s legal or admin or household stuff.

It’s important to take your lead from the person who’s grieving and accept that it might take a long time, and that it’ll come out in different ways – she might be short-tempered or irrational, for example.

And take care of yourself, too, as this will be having an impact on you emotionally.

For more information, visit crusebereavementcare.org.uk.