Ask Dr Miriam

QTwo years ago I was widowed and all my friends keep telling me that I should try to meet someone and get married again. But I don’t want to, I’m happy alone. Am I so unusual?

ANo, you’re not. In fact, we know that widows are healthier when they’re alone than when they were married.

Some widows are better off because they were shackled to an elderly spouse who they had to look after.

Interesting Italian research tracked 2,000 over-65s for four years. Researchers expected to find the widows depressed and more physically frail than married people. But this wasn’t the case. About a quarter of the widows were stronger than their married counterparts and were less likely to be depressed too. Widowhood also relieves women of the frustration of coping with the burden of household chores. So for some women being widowed is a bit of a relief. Also, women cope better than men with bereavement and have better social and family networks to fall back on. So if you want to stay single, do it.