MY HUSBAND ACCUSED ME OF AN AFFAIR

Dear Coleen

My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have two teenage children and I work full time. We usually get along really well, but just lately he’s started to suffer from low moods and has accused me of cheating on him.

He says that he wouldn’t blame me if I did, which I think is due to his low self-esteem. I’ve caught him a few times checking my phone and looking at my laptop and I think he’s spying on me. How can I make him realise that I’d never cheat on him?

Coleen says

You can’t carry on living like this. I think you need to ask him why he’s feeling so insecure all of a sudden. What’s making him feel this way? Does he think it’s happening with somebody from your work, or one of your mutual friends? Who exactly does he think you’re cheating on him with and why?

He has absolutely no right to accuse you of cheating, or go through your phone or check your emails, without any evidence or explaining himself. Even if he did have a reason to be snooping, he still shouldn’t be doing it.

No, you need to have this out with him once and for all. And this isn’t about you reassuring him – this needs to be about him explaining why he’s behaving like this all of a sudden.